How can we make use of consent when we interact with our dogs?
Consent is consent. We hear about it all the time in our daily lives, whether we want to do something or not, whether we permit something to happen to our bodies, whether we opt into a hug or an interaction. We as people get to choose or consent to quite a lot on a daily basis and when that consent is breached, it's really a big deal.
So why don't we perceive it to be the same for our dogs? Why do we have this overarching need for a dog to just do something for us because they should? Dogs are living creatures, we wouldn't make a Tiger do something just because, would we?
I can't offer all the answers as to why so many people feel this so strongly however, I can hopefully convince you why it's important in training and building a very strong relationship with your dog. At the end of the day they are supposed to be our best friends, and we don't force our best friends to do things they don't want to do we? At least I don't.
Let's stick with that analogy for a minute....
When you become best friends with someone it's because you've had a really good time with them right? You start off feeling positive about that person and the more you interact with them and the more positive and happy, fun experiences you have with that person means that you start to build a friendship, a good relationship. This person doesn't do things to hurt you, they don't make you do things you don't want to, and in mine and my best friend's case, most of your time is spent laughing and eating ice cream (IYKYK). Highly reinforcing!
So, lets look at this from our dog's perspective:
We can use food, cuddles (if a dog is into that) and other traditional forms of building a fun and positive relationship between you and your dog. Consistently over time this will develop a level of trust that when you interact with each other it's going to be a positive experience and one that your dog wants to stick around for.
What about the consent bit?
Well, the consent bit is about giving them the option to also not interact with you, to not have to do the uncomfortable thing and working on giving them options that they can fall back on when they do feel uncomfortable. This might be through the use of clear cues like a mat where only the uncomfortable thing happens on that mat (I'm looking at you hairy dogs that need grooming), or predictability in that close handling doesn't happen unless it's preceded by a word they have practised and understand. It might also just be about giving them space and not pushing the interaction. If they know that the mat is where grooming happens and they would usually opt in... maybe they just aren't feeling it...and that's ok.
If you ask me my human relationships where I can say "sorry I don't feel like doing that today" or "I'm not feeling well I don't want to have a full body massage in the bath right now", are the strongest I have.
In all seriousness it is empowering to be able to say no, and that is a positive thing that will undoubtedly strengthen your relationship with your dog.
Grooming, vet handling and touching in general are all areas of expertise of mine. Get in touch now if you need support.